Is there ever peace?

November 21, 2006 at 10:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My mind goes off in this direction every time you are not well.  None of the options/outcomes will bring peace, it seems to me. 

Caring at home takes it’s toll.  The family is often divided because of all the things you aren’t able to do or can’t tolerate.  And while it feels good to do some of those things when we are lucky to have care for you, it never feels good to leave you out.  It’s tiring physical work.  It’s tiring emotional work.

 So then there is the care out of home option.  Who will ever care for you and love you the way I do?  The constant worry of wondering how you are doing in the care of others must be tortuous.  The heartbreak of starting that journey must be overwhelming.

 And what if you were to die?  Is the worry just filled with arms and heart so empty they ache?  Are you missed so badly that even the worst of days  of your life are wished back? 

 I’ve replayed these questions time and time again.  There aren’t any good answers.

 And yet the joy you’ve brought to the world is worth it all.